If you’re curious about these questions: Can practicing meditation actually cause arousal? And if so, what is the connection between these seemingly polar experiences? How does mindfulness meditation benefit our intimate life? Or, How to practice meditation in ways to enhance one’s sexual experiences?
Then, don’t worry because we’ve brought this article to help you find the answers. Here, we will delve into the intricate phenomenon of meditation causing arousal and the relationship between them, explore its potential benefits, and discuss ways to practice some meditation techniques to enhance your sexual life and also provide some evidence studies and tips.
Discover Sexual Meditation: Learn How Mindfulness Can Enhance Your Sexual Experiences
Research shows that mindfulness can also enhance your sex life. It can lead to greater sexual satisfaction, improved confidence, boosted desire, and even better lubrication.
“Mindfulness brings together the physical and sexual response,” explains Cheryl Fraser, Ph.D., a sex therapist, clinical psychologist, and author of Buddha’s Bedroom. “Meditation is your ability to focus your attention, concentration, and mind on a chosen object — and great sex happens in the mind.”
What is Sexual Meditation?
The concept of “sexual meditation” isn’t used by experts in the field, but it’s a useful way to think about bringing mindfulness into sex.
Sexual meditation can take many forms. It could mean a general mindfulness or meditation practice, being mindful during sex, partner exercises that combine sexual and mindfulness components, or specific mindfulness work that could benefit your sex life. In other words, the possibilities are endless.
In sexual meditation, you focus on sensations and the state of your body. You aim to let go of external distractions and concentrate on touch and sensation. If you’re trying sexual meditation with a partner, there is an additional goal: to deepen the connection between you and become more aware of your body and your partner’s.
What are the Benefits of Meditation in Sexual Life?
Mindfulness and meditation in bed can be incredibly beneficial, from boosting your libido to improving your mood and pleasure. Here’s what you can gain from a sexual meditation practice:
Meditation reduces stress, leading to improved sexual experiences
Many of us have a lot of stress in our lives, whether it stems from work, relationships, money, or something else. Stress adds to cortisol and adrenaline levels, which in turn diminish sexual desire and performance, as well as cause other adverse effects.
“Stress, fear, anxiety, worry, and frustration make your body release adrenaline, and that constricts your blood vessels, which can lead to erectile dysfunction,” says Nelson E. Bennett, a urologist, and expert in the field.
Numerous studies have shown that meditation can reduce stress levels. Within a few days of beginning a meditation practice, it can also enhance sexual desire and performance by decreasing cortisol and adrenaline levels. It’s also linked to the production of dopamine and serotonin, which are known as bliss chemicals. This can heighten your libido and make the experience of orgasm even more powerful.
Meditation boosts your energy for sex
“Not tonight, honey. I’m too tired!” Do you ever make this excuse for why you’re not in the mood for sex? You’re not alone – fatigue is one of the primary reasons couples don’t have as much sex as they would like. According to a recent study by the National Sleep Foundation, about 25% of married or cohabiting Americans are so sleep-deprived that they don’t have the energy for sex.
Meditation has been linked to increased energy, less fatigue and insomnia, and more ‘slow-wave’ sleep. If you take the time to meditate, it can give your body a deep rest that can help you feel refreshed and invigorated afterward. This burst of energy can help you stay alert and energized when it’s time for some adult playtime after work.
Meditation can help you stay present and focused
Sometimes, our left brain can be a bit overactive. This can make us stay in the past and future, instead of being in the moment – which is necessary for an orgasm to happen.
On the other hand, the right brain is responsible for present-moment awareness. This is the area we can train with meditation. The more we meditate, the more balance between both hemispheres of the brain, which leads to a greater mental focus on the task at hand.
Studies show a link between mindfulness and sex. When we’re more present and focused on the moment, we can feel the physical sensations more intensely, bringing more pleasure. Plus, no one likes a distracted partner.
Meditation can help you better understand your partner better
Meditation has been linked to improved empathy accuracy and related neural activity. This is due to mirror neurons. Think of them as little boomerangs sent out from your brain that go to interact with your lover’s mirror neurons and bring back information. Mirror neurons allow you to sense what your partner is feeling. That’s why watching someone get hurt can make you feel uncomfortable. It may even contribute to the success of the billion-dollar porn industry; simply seeing someone else experience pleasure can create a pleasant sensation in your brain.
By honing the activity of your mirror neurons through meditation, coupled with increased relaxation and presence, you may be able to be an even more intuitive and caring partner.
Meditation can help you stop depending on your partner to make you whole
One of the most misleading clichés of all time is “You complete me.” No one can truly complete you; no partner, job, degree, or level of wealth can do that. True happiness only comes from within, and it is something accessible at any moment.
If you don’t have a means of reaching that inner bliss, it is natural to look outward for fulfillment. If you expect your partner to provide you with spiritual or physical completion, you will only ever be disappointed. Happiness must come from the inside.
If you are 80% fulfilled, the relationship will be a place to increase that fulfillment, not a place to get the missing 20%.
What is the Relationship Between Meditation and Sex?
“Mindfulness and sex go hand-in-hand,” explains Dr. Laurie Mintz, a renowned sexuality psychologist, author, and sex expert affiliated with LELO, a leading Swedish brand specializing in intimate lifestyle products.
Mintz says that mindfulness meditation teaches you to:
- Remain focused on the present moment
- Recognize when the mind begins to wander
- Bring your attention back to the present
These skills prove vital in unlocking greater sexual satisfaction and achieving orgasms.
Mintz explains that having an orgasm requires total immersion in your physical sensations, which is what mindfulness meditation helps you master.
Several studies have established a connection between meditation and better sexual experiences.
- A 2018 study reported that people who meditate usually have higher levels of sexual desire and greater sexual functioning compared to people who don’t.
- A 2019 study found that those who apply mindfulness during sex tend to be more sexually content and have more self-confidence in regard to sex.
- Another study revealed that women who practice mindfulness during sex are more likely to become aroused easily.
Mindfulness Meditation Causing Arousal also Helps Resolve Many Sex Problems
Sexual problems are more widespread than many people think.
A 2008 survey of over 32,000 women of various age groups in the United States shows that:
- 43% have experienced some form of sexual problem in their lifetime
- 39% report having low sexual desire
- 26% report having difficulty being aroused
- 21% report difficulty reaching orgasm
What does the research tell us?
An increasing number of studies suggest that incorporating mindfulness meditation into one’s daily lifestyle may help to treat or manage sexual health conditions.
Sexual arousal disorder
For example, Canadian psychologist Lori Brotto, Ph.D., an expert in female sexual dysfunction, conducted a research study in 2008 to identify the effects of mindfulness-based psychoeducation (PED) on sexual arousal disorder.
Participants included 26 women, and the results showed:
- significant increases in reported desire and arousal
- increased self-awareness of physical sexual response and arousal.
Sexual desire and functioning
Furthermore, a recent 2021 study discovered that mindfulness is linked to enhanced sexual satisfaction, desire, and performance. When applied to promote sexual well-being, mindfulness has the potential to improve the following issues:
- erectile dysfunction
- hypersexuality
- sexual distress
Although many investigations have been conducted on the impact of meditation on sex, the majority of the research has focused on heterosexual relationships. The authors of this study recommend considering LGBTQ+ populations and couples in future studies for more comprehensive and inclusive outcomes.
Comorbid sexual abuse and dysfunction
In 2012, Brotto conducted a pilot study in which 20 women with a history of childhood sexual abuse and sexual dysfunction were exposed to mindfulness-based treatment (MBT).
Those who received mindfulness-based treatment (MBT) saw marked improvements compared to the cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) group and pre-treatment levels. These included heightened pleasure, reduced distress, and increased body awareness.
Other possible benefits
A 2019 research study suggests that mindfulness-based therapies (MBT) can be beneficial in several areas related to women’s sexual health:
- Treating Female sexual dysfunction
- Enhancing sexual arousal and desire
- Reducing fear associated with sexual activity
- Improving consistency with arousal non-concordance
- Alleviating sexual dysfunction caused by anxiety and negative cognitive schemas.
Although the study didn’t find that MBT significantly lessens pain during sex, the other results are encouraging.
Men Suffering from Porn Addiction
Researchers from Creighton University took 38 such men to a secluded retreat center for eight days and gave them 32 hours of cognitive-behavioral therapy. During these sessions, the experts worked to correct the participants’ misconceived beliefs, like:
- Sexual thoughts and fantasies are wrong, bad, and sinful.
- Only bad people masturbate.
- My porn-watching makes me evil.
The therapists worked to replace those incorrect beliefs with more accurate ones:
- It’s normal to have sexual thoughts and fantasies, and they can help you enjoy great sex.
- Masturbation is common among men who feel stressed, and it’s perfectly okay as long as it doesn’t take away from life responsibilities or partner intimacy.
- Porn is merely a cartoon version of men’s fantasies of endless sexual access, and viewing it does not make anyone evil.
The researchers also instructed the participants in mindfulness meditation and asked them to practice it several times a day. After the retreat, their porn viewing and sexual anxiety decreased considerably.
Ending the Vicious Cycle
Many people suffer from sexual problems that stem from anxiety. We often hear the question: “Am I normal?”. Anxiety causes people to feel nervous about their fantasies, bodies, libidos, sex life, and ability to maintain functional relationships. This nervousness causes stress, which further impairs sexual desire and performance.
Sometimes, learning the truth is all that is needed to resolve issues. But, often, sexual issues lead to chronic stress that can’t be relieved just by knowing the facts. This is where mindfulness and calming activities come in: deep breathing, baths, massage, Yoga, tai chi, dancing, hiking, and more.
These activities can break the cycle of stress-dysfunction-more stress-worse dysfunction and replace it with peace.
How to Practice Sexual Meditation?
With regular sexual meditation, you can make sex more enjoyable for both you and your partner while also strengthening your bond. Even if meditating is something new to you, you can still learn how to do it for sexual meditation.
Here’s a guide on how to practice sexual meditation effectively.
Choose a quiet place with few distractions
- Turn off the lights in the bedroom or living room and get rid of any electronic gadgets like phones, TVs, and laptops.
- Make sure the room is at a temperature you find comfortable. It might be hard to focus if it’s too hot or cold.
- You can also lay out some cushions on the floor so you and your partner can sit and meditate.
- Position the cushions close together but with a bit of space between you and your companion.
Find a comfortable position
- Find a position that is suitable for both you and your partner.
- You can opt to lie down or sit up with your legs crossed.
- You and your partner can meditate in loose or light clothing, or even without any clothing if that’s your preference.
- Make sure your spine is straight – whether you’re sitting or lying down – and your arms should be relaxed and by your sides.
- If you’re seated, rest your arms in your lap and keep your head and chin in line with your spine.
Shut your eyes
- When you and your partner are both ready, close your eyes and start the meditation.
- Be mindful of your environment and sense the atmosphere.
- Notice how your body feels, the rhythm of your breath, and any sounds that you perceive.
- Try to keep intrusive thoughts at bay and instead focus on the present moment.
- If a thought does pop up into your head, just acknowledge it and then let it go.
For instance, if you think of something that occurred at work, just say, “Yes, that did happen” in your head and imagine the thought floating away.
Pay attention to your environment and breathing
- When meditating, focus on your space and breathing.
- Take long, calming breaths, and be aware of what your body feels like as you inhale and exhale.
- As you inhale, bring the air down to your abdomen and visualize stress releasing as you exhale.
- Be conscious of your feelings and take notice of your body, from your hands to your feet and the air that touches your skin.
Visualize your body
- As the meditation begins, focus on visualizing your body.
- Imagine how your body looks and feels both internally and externally, as well as how its energy appears.
- Consider the shapes, colors, and sounds of the emotions you are feeling. For example, you may visualize the passion for your partner as a red orb.
- Pay attention to your physical sensations.
- Focus on your body and the sensations you’re feeling to the best of your ability.
- The aim of sexual meditation is to boost your awareness, which leads to more intense sexual arousal.
Focus on your partner
Once you’ve finished visualizing yourself, turn your attention to your partner. Try to envision their body and emotions at this moment.
- Look at your partner: You can open your eyes and gaze into your partner’s eyes. Take some time to observe their breathing too. Notice the subtle movements of your partner’s body. Watch as their stomach and chest rise and fall with each breath.
- Communicate with your partner non-verbally: Use your face, hands, and eyes to express what you’re feeling. Watch how your partner responds. See if you can make out their emotions too.
Move onto sexual intercourse
After enjoying a 20-minute session of sexual meditation, move to sexual intercourse. If you find intercourse more enjoyable after meditating, talk to your partner about making sexual meditations a regular part of your intimacy routine.
Give mantras a try
Mantras, when used in tandem with a deep breath, can have a calming effect on the mind. For example, you can say, “Bed not head,” “Be here now,” etc.
Choose a mantra that has personal resonance for you, something short and powerful. Mantras can be surprisingly powerful when it comes to calming the mind.
Experiment with other practices
Mindfulness exercises can teach you skills that help you stay focused in the present moment.
For more specific meditations focused on sex, look up and try these practices:
- Orgasmic meditation (or erotic meditation)
- Meditation for Female Pleasure
- Sex visualization meditation
- Sensual meditation
- Guided sex meditation
Ways To Enhance Your Sexual Meditation Experience
Listen to some calming nature sounds or peaceful music
- When dealing with distracting noises, playing nature sounds or music tailored to relaxation can help you and your partner to chill out.
- You could choose rain and ocean wave sounds or some new-age tunes.
- Make sure that you select a track that will be able to play for the duration of your meditation and sexual experience.
Try Taoist sexual meditation
Once you’ve gotten the basics of sexual meditation, you can move on to more advanced forms. Taoist sexual meditation is a meditation technique that encourages partners to unite their desires.
- Matching breaths: You can start doing Taoist meditation by holding your partner and trying to synchronize your breathing. Inhale and exhale in the same rhythm until it feels like you and your lover are breathing as one.
- Hand pulsing: Pulsing is another form of Taoist sexual meditation practice. To do this, gently open and close your partner’s hand or give it a gentle squeeze in a consistent rhythm. Your partner can also do the same to reciprocate the motion.
Introduce some tantric sex practices
Tantric sex is an excellent way to use sexual activity as a form of meditation. To explore this further, why not incorporate some tantric practices? Here are some simple ones to start off with:
- Eye gazing: Maintain eye contact with your partner throughout the act and even as you reach orgasm.
- Alternating breaths: Coordinate your breathing with your partner’s. You can take a breath in as they exhale, and vice versa.
Sexual Meditation Vs. Tantric Meditation & Orgasmic Meditation
Sexual meditation covers a range of practices, including orgasmic meditation, and overlaps with tantric meditation.
| Parameter | Sexual Meditation | Tantric Meditation | Orgasmic Meditation |
| Aim | Focus on sexual energy | Focus on spiritual and sexual connection | Focuses specifically on genital stimulation |
| With/Without a partner | Practiced individually or with a partner | Practiced with a partner | Practiced with a partner |
| Benefits | Heightens arousal & desire | Deepens intimacy & love | Enhances sexual pleasure and mindful touch |
| Techniques Used | Involves visualization, mindfulness, and breathing techniques | Involves rituals, Yoga, and partner exercises | Involves specific stroking technique on the clitoris |
| Time & Space | Can be practiced anytime, anywhere | Requires dedicated time and space | Requires dedicated time and space |
Recommended Tips!
- Before you begin your sexual meditation journey, talk to your partner about why you want to try it.
- Set a soothing atmosphere with candles or soft lighting, and play relaxing music.
- Use body scanning techniques to become aware of pleasurable sensations and areas of arousal.
- Cultivate gratitude and appreciation for your own body, as well as your partner’s, for a more fulfilling experience.
- You and your partner can also practice meditation individually, to help clear your minds and make it easier to meditate together.
FAQ’s
Does meditation give you pleasure?
Absolutely! Meditation gives us access to our happiness and well-being. The more we can tap into this, the less dependent we become on external triggers for our joy, and the more we can rely on our inborn positive qualities like love, contentment, and inner peace.
Does meditation help with hypersexuality?
Yes, meditation and Yoga-based Mindfulness techniques have been found to have a positive effect on people living with hypersexuality and mental health issues. These practices can help reduce anxiety and stress, enhance their mood, and provide them with a greater sense of awareness.
Is it normal to feel aroused while meditating?
Yes, it is normal to feel aroused while meditating. Meditation can bring awareness to various sensations in the body, including arousal. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings without judgment and remain focused on the present moment. However, this is not a universal experience and may vary from person to person.
Why am I distracted during sex?
There could be several reasons for feeling distracted during sex, and it can vary from person to person. Some common factors may include:
- stress and anxiety
- lack of focus
- insecurities about one’s body or performance
- unresolved relationship issues
- medical conditions such as hormonal imbalances or depression
To address distractions during sex, it is essential to communicate openly with your partner, practice mindfulness techniques, and consider seeking professional help if necessary.
Conclusion
Meditation can profoundly improve your sex life, from reducing stress to heightening your awareness of physical sensations.
To make things easier and more enjoyable, try a technique tailored to people with busy minds and lives instead of one designed for monks. With the right teacher and the right approach, learning to meditate can be a breeze!
